woe woe
by general d00rknob
Summary: naruto is feeling bad about himself and learns a new word yay naruto! naruhina


Woe Woe

Naruto walked throughout his house closing the windows and curtains ensuring that no-one could see inside. He wanted to be alone; after being rejected yet again by a certain unnamed pink haired girl (*cough* SAKURA *cough*) he just wanted to sit, watch television, and feel sorry for himself in his own privacy. With all the windows and blinds closed it made the room dark; he sat with his knees up against his chest and buried his head. Although he would never show it, what the villagers did to him as a child really hurt him. He took off his jacket and shirt and prepared some ramen for his dinner then went back to gather his things for a hot bath. He was almost at the top of the stairs when he heard a knock at the front door. Naruto glared at the door as though it were somehow the door's fault he was feeling miserable. He walked down and opened the door; much to his dismay it was not Sakura coming to apologize but in fact is was Shikamaru and Choji. "Hey Naruto; you goin' to the dance tomorrow night?" Shikamaru asked as if he didn't already know what would happen. "No. I'm not getting my heart torn out again I'm staying right here!" with that Naruto slammed the door and locked it then went to go finish his task. Shikamaru and Choji stood there in shock; they had anticipated that Naruto would ask Sakura over and over until he finally just broke and went anyways, nowhere in their plan did it mention anything about staying home and feeling sorry for himself, that wasn't like Naruto.

Naruto put a disc in the player and hit repeat so that the song would play again and again. He listened to the opening music and drummed along until the lyrics came in. he sang along as the words slowly made him fade out of reality and into his own world.

"**I'm lost in my head and no-one can find me. I'm evil supreme devil get behind me."**

This made him think of the kyuubi and how everyone thought of him as the most evil thing in the world much less the village. Was it really that much just to go out with him one time? Was one date really that bad?

"'**cause you're takin' a walk on the dark side of your heart. But you know it was cursed it was fucked up from the start."**

Hah. His life had been fucked up from the start and he had been cursed. The song only made him feel worse and worse.

"**Singing woe, woe, woe, woe, I'm losing control of my head and I'm feelin' it's time to get crazy. No, no, no, no, don't say you can feel it I'm losin' my head now it's time to get crazy in here"**

She had called him crazy to think that she would ever go out with him. Maybe he should have shown her what crazy really meant. What was he thinking!? This was his teammate, sure she shot him down and then openly mocked him but that doesn't mean he could treat her however he liked…right?

"**No one can tell me any different, if you're alone keep your distance I'm a bomb just listen to me ticking click, click, boom, sick addiction."**

He got out of the tub and turned the music off then got his shaving cream and razor. He looked at the blades in his razor for a minute contemplating to himself. He took the sharp edges out one by one and looked at them. He though up a quick excuse if any of his friends found out and turned his arm over to look at the top of it. He didn't want to injure himself he just wanted to feel the pain, he wanted a distraction. He took one of the blades and made a horizontal incision on his forearm. He made it too deep and blood started to pour out of it. "Shit!" he ran to get a rag and by the time he had cleaned the whole mess up the wound had almost stopped bleeding. He wrapped some gauze around the cut and taped it together then went out and sat on the couch. He turned on the TV and flipped through the channels when his ramen made a ding. Naruto walked out to the kitchen and put all of the contents into a large bowl; he took it out to the living room and finished watching his program. He squeezed the wound he had made after he started to think about Sakura and the dance. He started to think about his friends, and then his mind wandered to the fact that they all had dates. He felt horrible after that and almost broke the table until he heard another knock at the door. Naruto got up to answer it and was surprised when it wasn't Shikamaru, Lee, or Choji. Instead it was Hinata she had noticed the lights were off and the curtains closed and had also heard Choji and Shikamaru talking to Lee about how horrible Naruto looked. The first thing she noticed was the fact that he had no shirt on; the first thing he noticed was that she was wet and it was raining outside. "Hinata?" forgetting his manners for a minute he had forgotten to invite her in out of the rain "why are you here?" she was getting cold and wet but insisted to herself that she had to make up something to get him to let her inside. However she didn't need to after a few moments he realized how cold it was getting and invited her inside. He quickly grabbed the sake he was sipping on and the ramen and ran into the kitchen trying to hide the alcohol. She looked at the scars all over his body while he put stuff away and offered her something to eat which she declined. She noticed the gauze and the blood on it and got concerned.

"Naruto" she said with concern lingering on her every syllable "where did you get that?" she pointed to the gauze on his forearm.

Great, not thirty minutes after he's done something he gets caught, what an excellent day. "I cut it while I was cooking" technically it wasn't a lie; he was cooking ramen while he did it. "But, you had ramen Naruto-kun" "So?" "So, you don't cut anything when you have ramen and especially nothing even close to your arm" "I had trouble cutting the meat" his answers were getting suspicious to her and she kept getting even more worried every time she knew he made something up. "Naruto-kun" she said with hurt in her eyes afraid to think that her comrade and special person could stoop so low as to self mutilation, and afraid to think of why, "show me how…" on the verge of tears she looked at him with the most genuine eyes he had ever seen. He looked at her for a minute and got out one of the knives; he laid his arm across the cutting board as though he were holding something down with his elbow and pulled the knife back.

Hinata, being the detective and skeptic that she was, refused to believe his story and with good reason, "Naruto-kun, if you cut yourself cooking why, is the knife that you used put away?" "I cleaned it after I cut myself." "What about the blood?" "I wiped it up" he seemed to actually mean it but she knew him. "Naruto-kun" tears welled up in her eyes and she fought to keep them at bay as her emotions ran wild. He stared at her with remorse, "why are you lying to me? Have I done something wrong? Have I offended you? Please tell me Naruto-kun." "Hinata why are you blaming yourself? I cut myse-"he caught himself but it was too late. "Aha! You did cut yourself!" he let out a long breath and rolled his eyes wishing she hadn't come by that night and wondering why she did in the first place. "Don't you have somewhere else to be?!" he said angrily feeling as though he needed to defend himself. His question shocked her a bit, he didn't want her here. "I…I…I'm sorry Naruto-kun. I just heard about what happened with Sakura and how bad you felt about it. I thought you might need someone to talk to…" Hinata had been with the rest of the group and noticed the only one that wasn't there was Naruto so she asked about him. She was surprised when she heard all she did and made an excuse to leave so she could go see him. "I'll go…" she really didn't want to leave but also didn't want her special person angry with her, she decided which would have felt worse. "but Naruto-kun" he looked at her as though she were the source of all of his pain, she saw how angry he looked but she knew him and saw past that, behind his façade he was hurt, not physically but emotionally he was a wreck. "Please don't hurt yourself" she turned and started to walk out of the door when he closed it on her. "Hinata I'm sorry." He looked at her and looked away. She fought the urge to throw her arms around his neck and say she forgave him. "Hey, you want to watch a movie with me? I was just about to start watching it when you came in." she loved the idea of spending a whole evening sitting next to him watching a horror movie and cuddling up to him during the real gory parts so she agreed. He put the movie in the player and turned the TV to the appropriate channel and watched as the movie started. As Hinata had anticipated it was undoubtedly a horror movie although Naruto apparently thought it was a violent comedy because every time something gory would happen Hinata would scream and hide her face while Naruto laughed and commented on how discrete the killer could have been and how blatant he was being. Once she finally got brave and hugged his arm tightly, he looked down at her and paused the movie assuming that's what she wanted. "What?" he said rather oblivious as to why she was doing that. She looked up at him and then let go of his arm, "sorry" she said disappointed. He got up and walked to the bathroom; she heard him go through the routine and wash his hands but after the water stopped he didn't come back and her mind started to wander. She started to think about the movie and scared herself into thinking something might have happened to Naruto. She ran to the bathroom and Naruto jumped out, scaring her. She screamed and started to cry afterward. He didn't know why she was crying but he felt like a big jackass. "Hinata I'm sorry, please don't cry." He hated to see a girl cry especially when it was his fault. He took part of his sleeve and wiped her eyes. She jumped into his arms and cried into him. He felt so bad for making her cry but really she had been happy he was okay, she often panicked when it came to Naruto. She smacked him just hard enough so it stung. "Don't ever do that to me again ever, ever, ever!" "Hinata why are you freaking out? And why did you flip when you found out I cut myself?! Why are you even here in the first place?!" she stood slack jaw with tears strolling down her face and couldn't find anything to say. "if all you want to do is yell at me then why are you here?!" the rage had finally caught up with her and she let him have it, she let him have all of it "Because I love you!" she said angrily but immediately afterward she covered her mouth. He stood with a quizzical look on his face. He had never heard that word before; no one had ever said that to him before. He stood staring off into space and thinking. She ran out with tears in her eyes, she didn't want to go home but she didn't want to stay there. She ran, and ran, and ran; finally she got tired and stopped hiding in a nearby tree. Naruto still stood where she had left him just thinking about the past few years trying to figure out what love meant but to no avail. He finally noticed Hinata was gone. He ran trying to find her before something serious happened. After hours upon hours of searching and using clone after clone he finally found her, she was crying in one of the training grounds. He walked up behind her and knelt next to her. "Hinata" she turned away "Hinata don't be like that" she looked away trying as hard as she could to ignore him "Hinata please, I'm sorry, whatever I've done I'm sorry" "you really don't know what you've done? How can you be so stupid?!" she got up and ran again but he would not be left behind again, he ran after her. He was much faster than her and caught her by the arm, "Hinata" "get away from me Naruto" he felt hurt it was bad enough everyone else felt that way but now hearing Hinata say that, he felt sickened; he let go of her. "I gave my heart to you and you ignored it! Granted I could have been a little more oblivious but you just ignored me, I gave you time, I was willing to wait for you, I loved you Naruto." "Hinata" "save it Naruto, no more lies, I'm done with you" "but Hinata" "but nothing" she started to cry again "I never want to see you again Naruto Uzumaki" "okay" "okay? Okay!? Is that all you have to say to me after that?!" "Hinata I-" he was cut off "what?!" "What is love?" "Are you joking?!" he looked at her with pain in his eyes, how was he supposed to know something he's never heard before, and now he's getting yelled at for it; her eyes softened "you mean? You really don't know what love is?" he shook his head no. she started to say something and then hatched an idea. "Naruto" she hugged him tightly, "love is when two people like each other very much and feel strongly for one another" he looked saddened and felt even worse. She looked at him surprised and worried "Naruto?" "I've never actually had someone care about me before Iruka sensei, and I definitely never had anyone like me as anything more than a friend, if that." Tears started to gather in his eyes and Hinata reached up to rub his cheek but he grabbed her hand. "Hinata, I'm sorry." "Don't be Naruto-kun" she hugged him again and held onto him as though she would never see him again. She was getting ahead of herself, she was acting as if he had just said he loved her back, but he hadn't said anything. He hugged her hoping she wasn't still mad at him and hoping no one would see them there, he got her to stop being mad at him but he didn't think he could talk his way out of another sticky situation. "Naruto" Hinata looked at him with love in her eyes; she couldn't believe she was sitting there holding onto Naruto, of all people "hmm?" "I… I'm sorry for getting so mad at you earlier. I really do care about you Naruto, I always will, you're the first person to ever tell me I could be something." Naruto started to really think about what he had gotten himself into. "Naruto, would you take me to the dance tomorrow night? I mean if you want to." She looked down and glanced back up at him. He thought about how he could show her off to Sakura and rub in her face that he didn't need her and then maybe she would get so jealous she'd beg him to dance with her. "Sure Hinata I'll go to the dance with you" she brightened up immediately and hugged him as tight as she could before leaving to go gather the things she would need for the next evening.

Naruto had remembered what Hinata had said about love while we was on his way home and then remembered what she had said to him when she apologized. "What have I done?"

The dreaded night came slowly and Naruto stuck true to his word arriving at Hinata's house at six o' clock; they left at six thirty. Hinata squeezed his arm as though he were pulling him out of freezing cold water. She loosened her grip after she had thought about their relationship and worried that she might be moving too fast into things. Naruto stayed silent and looked at the ground the whole time feeling like the dirtiest piece of filth in the world, how could he do this to sweet, innocent, little Hinata?

They finally arrived at the dance and Naruto spent the whole night doing whatever Hinata asked him to. He got punch for them, he got snacks, and then finally, they danced. Naruto never was much of a dancer but he did his best trying to make it up to Hinata. The more he did for her the more he realized how much he cared about her feelings; he brushed it off as he cared for everybody's feelings. A romantic song came on and they slow danced to it. Hinata got lost in the motions, this was her perfect night, the one she had been dreaming about for years, nothing was going to tear it away from her. Naruto still felt bad as he danced close to Hinata and found himself thinking about her more than what he'd done; maybe he had started to make it up? She hugged him tightly and looked up at his face, her face turned from contented to worried and she asked him what was wrong. "Nothing Hinata" he put on one of his genuine smiles but Hinata saw right through it, she stopped dancing "do you not want to dance with me?" "No, no that's not it at all Hinata" "do you want to take a break?" "No I'm fine, do you want to take a break?" "No" she answered quickly and hugged him again not wanting him to leave her. He hugged her back and they continued to dance through the night swaying like trees even after the music stopped, Hinata didn't want to let go and Naruto was still sifting through his own thoughts. After finally deciphering what little he could he vowed that he would not let her have a reason to be mad at him again, he really did care about her and he hoped he could learn to love from her, he squeezed her next to his side on the way home and even kissed her goodnight when he took her to the door. He had a feeling it was a good decision to make Hinata happy, he felt good about making her happy.

first post hope you like it


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